This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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