So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
