I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize