This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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