i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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