just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize