So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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