By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
