He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
