as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
