You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
