butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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