i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize