After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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