dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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