can we get nightvision for the apartment?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
