I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
