Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
