Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
