Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
