it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
