i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You may now shotgun with the bride
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have already put on my inside pants.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
