just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize