STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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