Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
