Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
