i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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