sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
