..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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