Pants 0. Shit 1.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
