I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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