so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
