Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
