Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
