So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
