dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
