Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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