Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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