This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
