On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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