I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
