I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
