it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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