So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
