Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
