I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
