she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
