Non-Jews are for practice
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
