Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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