So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
