just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
