I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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