on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
