just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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