i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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