what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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