Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
