talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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