Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
