Tell her she can't have a vagina
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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