I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
