My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize