if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
