i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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