I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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