hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize