How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Life is so much better after having sex.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So much rum. So many feels.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
